When someone replies you with ‘that’s interesting’, what does it really mean?
“I’ve just built this thing that can be used to automate this part of the workflow”
“Oh, that’s interesting”
Okay. Then what?
The long pause that comes after made you wonder — should I continue? Or should I not?
When someone replies you with “that’s interesting”, do they really mean it? And should you keep talking?
It gets more challenging to tell these days as we’re on Zoom calls most of the time. Almost half of the social cues are hardly detectable. Even worst if it is an audio call.
How should you interpret ‘that‘s interesting’?
I’m embarrassed to admit this myself.
I say ‘that’s interesting’ a lot.
Sometimes I mean it, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I say it just for a lack of better word, or for a better response. Almost like a knee-jerk reaction.
Until a few weeks ago, a colleague responded to my idea with a “that’s interesting” statement.
I was blank for a moment. Was that a Yay, or Nay?
I finally understood how others felt when I do the same.
So I reversed engineered my that-is-interesting syndrome to debunk what goes behind my colleague’s brain.
“Is he/she really interested in what I’ve just said?”
That’s the common first question that comes right into our brain during interpretation.
And we assume the answer lies anywhere in between this scale:
Intuitively, this is where we focus our attention. It decides whether should we keep talking, or shut up.
But as someone who does “that’s interesting” a lot, I can affirm you that there is a lot more to that statement.
“How ready am I to listen more”
I find myself having this that-is-interesting syndrome whenever:
- When I’m surprised with what was said and needed some time to process it.
- When I’m in a rush to talk about the next agenda that was planned in my head.
- I do not know enough about the topic mentioned to ask follow-up questions and converse further.
It usually happens when I’m caught unprepared.
So, timing matters. A whole lot.
Selecting the right time to communicate is equally as important as your content. The best conversation could only happen if there is some sort of unspoken agreement between both sides on how they want to spend their time with each other.
One should be ready to share, and another should be ready to listen.
“How comfortable am I in telling the truth”
When I default to my “that’s interesting” response, it usually happens after running these simulations in my head:
“How would he/she judge me if I respond negatively?”
“Should I be completely honest? What are my stakes here?”
The biggest determinant is definitely based on how well I know this person and how invested am I in this relationship. A hundred percent honesty is only reserved for VIPs in my life. And my journals.
Meeting new clients (who are similar to me) for the first time, there is NO way you could earn their trust in such a short time. “That’s interesting” is their safest bet. The best option you have is to pay attention to the details in making them feel comfortable in their own way.
Be really patient.
To sum up, there is no simple, direct answer.
Because the people we meet are simply different.
Since you’re reading up till here, I’m assuming you’ve met some people who are more reserved in expressing themselves. Typically seen in the Asian community with receiver-oriented communication culture.
When someone said “that’s interesting”, you wonder what’s really going on in their brain.
Unfortunately, there isn’t any simple straightforward formula to interpret “that’s interesting” correctly.
Because this is an indication, not an answer.
A clue for you to check if you have all these 3 bases covered in your conversation with others:
Interest, Timing, Relationship.
To have a fruitful conversation, spend extra effort in the forgotten parts of the equation:
- Selecting the right timing and;
- Ensuring others feel comfortable.
Otherwise, we are destined to hear back more of “oh, that’s interesting”. Period.
